Category Archives: Forgive

What to Do When You Are Mad at Your Parents

I get upset with my parents quite often. It could be because of something they said, did or didn’t do. It’s easier to let go when it has happened just a few times, but as years go by the number keeps going up and it hits a threshold. Once it hits  the threshold, things might get out of hand because you’re out of control and they are mad that you talking or behaving like this. Here are a few tips you could use to tell you parents that you are mad at them.

  • Calm yourself down

It’s not a wise idea to talk to your parents when you are angry at them. What could happen is that, you might end up saying something you don’t mean to or raise your voice at them. These are both things I’ve done, and this just makes the situation worse. So the best thing to do is to keep away while you are angry. Washing your face, going out for a walk, listening to some music are all things that help. What I do is that, I take a piece of paper and try to write what goes through my head (remember to shred the paper as it is not something you want your parents to come across). This is an amazing way to calm yourself down and to articulate your ideas.

  • Plan your conversation to your parents

While calming yourself down, try and think of what made you angry and why it made you angry. Go over it again and again. This will help you to stay focused while talking to your parent and to not say anything that you don’t really mean.

  • Talk to your parent

Yes, this is the hardest part. I don’t know if parents realize when they have hurt their children. So when you walk up to them this might be the last thing on their mind. The key here is to let them know you want to tell them something that is burdening you. This is a great start because parents do want to know what is burdening their child. Once that is established go ahead and tell them. If they try to cut you off in between let them do so and wait for them to finish. Even if you get upset again try your best not to express it. As that would not make the situation better. The trick here is to not raise your voice at your parent as that is “disrespectful”. If I could keep clam while talking to my parents when I’m angry, then I bet anyone can. This is easy as you might have to wait for some time till the anger and the hurt subsides so that you don’t hurt them in the process.

  • Resolve your problem

While talking, find ways to resolve the issue. The key here is to suggest ways in which both you and your parents can improve. This way you can keep the situation as calm as it should be.  

  • Get everything out

These times are rare so take the most of it and get your issue out. I believe that if a relationship has to go strong and good, then people should voice their feelings in a clam manner. Thus addressing your feelings to your parent is also important.

I’ve not lived so many years, but these are things I’ve observed from trial and error. It’s not always easy to talk to your parent about such things, especially about how they’ve made you angry, because you have no clue in how they will react. Well it’s always worth a shot.

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Forgiving When You Don’t Feel Like it

“I want my money now” Chris demanded, choking one of his collegues. “Where’s my money? I want it now.” The collegue begged and asked him to be patient. But Chris kept demanding the money and finally got fed up and filed a case against him. At that time, Chris had forgotten that he was in the same position as his collegue was, a few days back when the boss was demanding money. And when Chris begged for mercy, his boss forgave his debt. When the boss heard about what Chris did, he was greatly disappointed.

Most of the time in our lives, we are like Chris. We forget how Jesus died for our sins and how God forgave us. Its easy to be judgemental about others when they act like Chris, but when we look into our life we’ll be able to see many more times we’ve been like Chris.

Some time back, I came to know that one of my friends was lying to me about some things. I was really hurt and whenever I saw her, anger used to build up in me because we were so close and I used to tell her everything in my life. I didn’t want to forgive her as I felt betrayed and used.

I attended a camp where a doctor came and shared about a particular instance in his life, in which he started seeing a flashback of all the wrong things he has done. And after this he heard a voice telling him “Son, inspite of all this I still love you.”

I sat there and broke into tears and this phrase kept sounding in my ears over and over. I could literally hear God saying to me “Sharon, I forgive you for all the things you’ve done wrong. I love you. And as much as I love you I love your friend and I’ve forgiven her too.” Even though it was hard for me to forgive her I was reminded of a verse which says “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Phil 4:13). After this, I was able to forgive my friend.

Most of the time when we get hurt by others, we tend to hold them as a “hostage.” We usually get hurt when a close friend of ours lies to us or cheats us. But the difference we see in people is that some hold it to their hearts while some others don’t.

Its better to forgive them than to hold things against them.